A True Gryffindor
by SynonymousWithAnonymous
Summary: When Death Eaters attack the Hogwarts students returning from summer holiday at Hogsmede Station, the marauders rush into battle to protect the other students. However, James is severely injured. Will James be able to recover? Will Lily finally stop hating him? Or will Voldemort kill them all before either of those happen?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters. Just simply having a little fun with them.**

"Well, well, well. It seems as if the Head Boy has decided that he can grace us with his oh-so-important presence!" called Sirius Black sarcastically.

He and two of his friends, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin, were hanging out in their carriage on the Hogwarts Express. Sirius and Remus had been playing a game of exploding snap, but threw it down when the carriage door slid open. James Potter stood there, a glower on his usually handsome face. Peter had been watching the game in awe from the corner of the cabin, but soon turned to fawning over James. There was no one in the world Peter wanted to be like more, not even Sirius. Sirius was a little too mean to him to earn Peter's undying love.

There was a shiny badge pinned on James's shirt. From Peter's perspective, the gold letters "HB" seemed to glow. Of course, this was a shock to everyone - James included. Out of all the marauders (the name the boys had given themselves) Remus was definitely the most likely to be Head Boy. Remus was the responsible one, only causing trouble when he was dragged into it by his mischievous friends or when his furry little problem was acting up. In all the six years James had attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy, he had never gone more than a month without detention. Yeah, after the incident with Snape and the Whomping Willow last year he had grown up some, but there was no way he was more mature than Remus.

When he first realized what the badge was for, he considered sending it back. Surely there had been some mistake. Had the letter accidentally been addressed to James instead of Remus? But after thinking it over for a moment, he realized the pure mayhem he and Sirius could cause with this thing. Not only could they sneak around the castle under James's invisibility cloak, they now had an excuse for basically anything.

Well, that was James's plan until he entered the Head Carriage. Lily Evans, the witch of his dreams, the girl who had constantly rejected him since they were eleven, was standing there with an almost identical badge shining proudly on her shirt. "Potter," she said, surprised. "Lost?" It wasn't until a moment later she saw his badge and her whole demeanor changed. She smiled at him warmly, "Finally grown up, eh? Started being responsible? Good for you."

Never once in six years had he seen Lily smile at him. And suddenly a new plan was forming in his mind.

Now don't misunderstand. James still had every intention of abusing his new power for his own nefarious plots. But now, instead of completely disregarding his duties, James was determined to be responsible for once.

And that was the reason for James's current bad mood. He had no idea annoying kids could be. Who would've thought that keeping them in some semblance of order was so tiring? Add that to the fact that James hadn't eaten since breakfast, and he was not a happy wizard.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. I betrayed you and the Marauder's Code by embracing my role as 'Head Git'." Flinging himself down on the seat across from Peter, James closed his eyes. Maybe he could rest a minute before he had to put on his school robes and usher the students to their proper places. "Skip the dramatics, yeah? I just want to get to the feast already and then sleep for about a week."

"No need to get snippy, Prongs." Sirius grinned and snatched a spare chocolate frog, throwing it with deadly precision. He barked out a laugh when it pegged James in the nose.

Grunting in a mix of surprise and pain, James glared at his friend. Why did he have to be friends with such a prick? Sirius didn't seem fazed at all, gazing back with an innocent expression. "Come on mate, just eat it. We all now how unpleasant you are when you're hungry." Remus snorted in agreement.

Muttering insults under his breath, James unwrapped the frog and shoved it in his mouth. Chewing violently, he flipped the car over and made a weird half-coughing, half-choking sound.

Remus started pounding on James's back, but he was waved off. James swallowed hard, took a deep break, coughed a couple times, and finally said, "I'm alright." Then, remembering what had caused it in the first place, James snapped his eyes to the card. The little figure in it smiled arrogantly and waved, as if proud of almost making James choke. "More than alright, really!"

"What? What is it?" Sirius shoved Peter out of his way and went to snatch the card from James's hand. But just before his fingers were about to touch it, James snapped it back.

"Nuh uh. Nope. You aren't getting your paws on this one."

"Who is it?" Sirius demanded.

"Agrippa!"

"Stop being a prick and tell me who it is. It' probably Morgause, you know I need her. The Agrippa card doesn't really exist, no one's ever gotten him."

"I'm telling the truth! Look!" James flipped the card around so the miniature wizard was looking out of them. He was careful to keep the card just out of Sirius's reach.

Remus and Sirius gasped; Peter almost started crying. Of course it would be James to find the Agrippa card. He was just that brilliant.

Getting over his shock, Sirius made a lunge for the card. "Give it -" Midway through his attack the train stopped violently, throwing Sirius into the wall. Remus sat down hard on the seat just behind him, Peter landed awkwardly on his wrist, and James - with the best reflexes of all the marauders - was barely able to stay in his seat.

Quickly shaking off their surprise, Remus, James, and Sirius stood up. Peter was curled up on the ground with wet eyes, cradling his wrist to his chest.

The three unhurt marauders shared a look. The train never stopped like that. It was magical, which means no conductor, which means no mistakes or abrupt stops. A wizard must have done this. A powerful one at that, if they were able to interfere with Hogwarts magic. There was only one wizard powerful enough who would want to do anything of the sort.

"Voldemort," James stated. The others nodded, ignoring when Peter flinched on the ground.

Hastily throwing open the cabin door, James hurried out into the corridor with Remus and Sirius right behind him. Kids were poking their heads out into the corridor, looking confused. "Stay in your carriages!" James yelled. "Don't come out until I tell you to!"

A couple of the kids listened, but James's order wasn't loud enough to be heard over the nervous babbling. "Oi!" Sirius bellowed. Surprised by the sheer volume, the voices quickly died away. "Sit your arses down and don't even think about leaving your carriage until Prongs here says it's okay!" Most of the kids stared at him, mouths hanging open. Glaring at them, Sirius yelled, "Now!"

Hastily, all the students ducked back into their carriages. Before she could disappear as well, James grabbed a fifth year girl and told her, "Do down the whole train and tell everyone what me an Padfoot just said, yeah? Good." He watched her scamper away before turning to Sirius and Remus.

"I looked out the window and we're at Hogsmede Station, but there's absolutely no one out there." Remus told them. "I hope none of the townspeople were hurt."

"You don't expect the Death Eaters politely asked them to clear out for an hour or two, do you?" Sirius replied sarcastically.

Remus opened his mouth to respond, but James cut in before he could get anything out. "Shut up, you two. I'm trying to think."

Immediately Sirius and Remus got serious. If James was stopping an argument between Sirius and Remus, which was guaranteed to be especially hilarious, they knew something was seriously wrong.

"Voldemort's been growing much stronger lately. But does he really think he's powerful enough to take on Dumbledore? Especially at Hogwarts, Dumbledore has the advantage." James as mostly been think aloud to himself, but the other two had heard him.

"Maybe he's going to use us as hostages," Remus suggested. "Everyone knows that Dumbledore would do anything to keep his students safe."

"No," Sirius said darkly. "I know how the Dark Side thinks, it's in my blood. They're going to kill us all and then try to take on the professors. Voldemort will have gotten rid of the problematic new generation and also wiped out his more powerful opponents in basically one go. Of course, those loyal to him will have known this was going to happen and are either going to be spared or they're in a safe place."

"Then I guess we don't have a choice, do we? I don't know about you guys, but I'm going down fighting." James stared hard at his friends, trying to tell what they were thinking.

Sirius smiled, his eyes holding a dark promise. "I'm with you, James." At once, James knew he was serious. Padfoot only ever used his real name when he was one hundred percent focused.

Both boys turned their eyes on Remus. He also gave a smile, but his was a weary one. "After all we've been through together, you really think I would let you two dunderheads go in by yourselves? You'd probably end up cursing yourselves."

With the promises made, the three boys - no, men - nodded at each other. From inside the carriage, Peter whimpered. "What about me?"

Sirius opened his mouth, probably to respond with some scathing remark about how rubbish Peter was in a fight, but Remus beat him to it. "Wormtail, you're hurt. If you went out there with us, you wouldn't be able to defend yourself properly. It's best if you just stay here."

With a look of relief, Peter relaxed on the floor. "Yeah, yeah. You're probably right. Wouldn't want to get in the way, either."

Sensing the anger coming from Sirius, Remus grabbed him by the shoulder and steered him toward the train door - in other words, away from Peter. "Coward," Sirius muttered. "He wasn't going to fight, even if he wasn't hurt."

"Not everyone is brave enough to fight," Remus told him.

"Well, he's a Gryffindor! Aren't we supposed to be known for our bravery?"

Remus didn't seem to have an answer to that.

Shoving Sirius and Remus forward, James said, "Come on. I don't think we have long."

They were almost to the train door when the voice started shouting at them. "Oi! Potter! What do you think you're doing?" Lily Evans was storming down the corridor, aiming her ferocious glare at one James Potter. The other marauders winced in sympathy, it was not pleasant to be on the receiving end of Lily's temper. "All I know is, some fifth year told me to stay in my cabin and not come out until _James Potter_ tells me I can! I'll have you know that I'm Head Girl! If something is happening, I need to know about it!"

James winced. He had completely forgotten about Lily, which was quite unusual. "Look, Evans, I'm sorry that I didn't come get you. But I really don't have time to explain right now." Unnoticed by James and Lily, the other marauders had slipped out of the train to give them some privacy and discuss the upcoming battle. "Please go back to your cabin. And please, _please_ don't come out until I say it's safe. Yeah? Will you do that for me? Because I really need you to."

"Safe?" Lily demanded. "Safe from what? Are we under attack?"

Her fiery red hair was tucked behind her ears. There was a flush in her pale cheeks from the anger. Her bright green eyes demanded answers, but he knew he couldn't give them to her. Merlin, she was beautiful. Suddenly James realized that he might never see her again. He might never hear her threaten to hex him into the next century because of some prank he had pulled. He might never get to watch from a distance while she laughed with her friends. He might never take her on the date he was always asking her about.

Without really thinking he took a couple steps closer, put his arms around her, and crashed his lips to hers.

He tried to convey everything he was feeling with that kiss. His fear, determination, and most importantly, his love for her. At first, she didn't respond. Then after a couple moments, her lips started moving with his. He savored every second of it, pulling her closer when her fingers reached up to twine in his hair.

It seemed like the kiss had lasted for both hours and milliseconds when he forced himself to pull away. He knew that if he didn't stop himself, he would easily have stayed there with her all day. And seeing the look of pure astonishment on Lily's face when he stepped back, he almost did.

"What -" she started.

"I'm sorry," he cut in. "I'm really, really sorry. I just . . . I had to do that at least once, yeah?"

Before she could say anything, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and hurried out the train door. Closing the door behind him, he silently cast a shield charm in front of it. Now Lily couldn't get out, and she would stay out of harms way. And that was all James wanted.

"Potter!" he heard a muffled yell. Glancing up at the window, he saw Lily staring down at him with pure confusion on her face.

He smiled at her sadly. "Sorry," he mouthed.

Without waiting to see her response, James turned around to face Sirius and Remus. They gave him a look that said they knew exactly what he had done, and they understood.

"Okay," he said trying to push Lily out of his mind for all he was worth. He needed to concentrate now. "Did you find proper places to station ourselves?"

"Yeah," said Remus. "We figured I could crouch behind those trolleys right there," he pointed. "Of course, we would need to charm them to be impenetrable, but they're in a good position. Then you and Padfoot would be standing behind those two pillars."

James critically studied the platform layout. "That seems like the best plan. The pillars will provide more protection for me and Paddy, but you would have the better angle."

The three went over to fortify the trolleys Remus would be stationed behind, while discussing tactics.

"Try to stay in your beginning positions as long as you can. You want to avoid being out in the open as much as possible," James advised.

Remus was up next. "And whatever you do, don't get a direct hit. Death Eaters use nasty dark magic, but just getting clipped by a curse isn't nearly as bad as a hit to the chest."

"Don't over-think it. A spell doesn't have to be extremely complicated to be able to stop an attack, even an attack from a Death Eater." Sirius had the most experience with black magic, his family being what it was, so James and Remus decided not to question this.

Having finished reinforcing the trolleys, the marauders just took a second to look at each other.

"They'll probably be here soon," Remus said quietly.

James and Sirius nodded. For what seemed like the first time, they weren't joking around. This wasn't exactly the time to make fun of James's infatuation with Lily or scold Sirius for not wiping his paws before he entered the dormitory.

Taking their positions, the marauders were completely silent. It was a good thing too, for as soon as they were hidden from view there were the familiar _pops_ of apparating. James guessed that there were roughly sixty.

Sixty to three. That meant twenty Death Eaters for each of them. James wasn't exactly happy with those odds.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not - in any way, shape, or form - own Harry Potter.**

**P.S. I'm not British, I'm from the U S of A (Good ol 'Merica). So if you see any dialogue errors, please point them out!**

A trickle of sweat ran down James's neck. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, making his hands shake. Readjusting his grip on his wand, James glanced across the platform toward Sirius. They locked eyes and James nodded.

Quickly popping out from behind the pillar, James aimed his wand toward the center of Death Eaters and shouted three spells in rapid succession. "_Stupefy! Petrificus totalus! Incarcerous!" _He didn't have time to admire the seven Death Eaters that went down. James and Sirius had each hit two and Remus had gotten four - apparently they hadn't seen him yet and he really did have the better angle. Mentally, James congratulated all of them. Not even a minute into the fight and they had already taken down nearly a tenth of the Death Eaters.

Pulling himself back behind the pillar as quickly as he could, James winced as the platform around him exploded with the sheer force of the retaliating spells. He took a deep breath and poked out from behind the pillar again. _"Stupefy!"_

A jet of red light hit a Death Eater square in the face and James almost laughed at his expression. "Good one!" Sirius called.

James glanced over just in time to see Sirius cast a curse at an approaching Death Eater. The curse hit her in the chest, throwing her back. "And you as well!" James shouted to his friend.

"You know," Sirius paused to duck a spell. "This isn't even the worst fight we've been in!"

Casting a furnunculus curse at a Death Eater who was a little too close for comfort, James incredulously cried, "When were we in a worse fight than this?"

Somehow Sirius was able to give James an irritated look while disarming a Death Eater. "Over the summer! When we ran into Bellatrix and her cronies!"

"You mean when you were fighting Bellatrix, leaving me all alone with the other ten?"

"Exactly! And don't you go on again about how unfair it was, because Bella counts for at least ten Death Eaters!"

"You're mad!" Caught up in the argument, James momentarily forgot where he was. He didn't see the Death Eater that had sneaked around the side of the pillar.

Vaguely, James heard the cry of "_Crucio!"_ before his body was lit on fire. It felt like acid was burning through his veins, his bones were crumbling to dust. He couldn't tell if he was screaming or not, but he wanted to. He couldn't take it. He would do anything to escape the pain. Black out, die; whichever came first.

Then, after _centuries,_ the pain was gone. He lay, gasping for breath, tears running from his eyes, on the ground. Shaking off the stupor, he slowly stood on quaking legs. Glancing over, he saw the Death Eater unconscious with Sirius standing over him. Sirius's glare was the most ferocious thing James had ever seen - which was saying something considering how often he faced Evans's wrath.

Nodding a thanks to Sirius, James peeked around the corner of the pillar. There were some Death Eaters on the ground, but there were still way too many for James, Sirius, and Remus to take down.

"_Expulso!"_

_"Reducto!"_

The two spells hit the pillar James was standing behind at the same time, making the pillar explode violently. James rolled out of the way, but a piece of debris caught him just above the eye. He could feel the warm, sticky liquid running down his face, and he tried to ignore it.

His stomach knotted painfully. When he was talking to Evans he realized he could die, but he hadn't really believed it. He, Sirius, and Remus would be invincible as always. They would fight off the attack with only minor cuts and bruises that Madam Pomfrey could heal in a second. Then they might receive awards for Special Services to the School, and continue on with their seventh year.

Needless to say, it didn't seem like any of that was going to happen. Well, they might get the award. But would they still give it to you if you were dead?

"_Confringo!_" Flames shot from the end of his wand, heading straight for the mass of Death Eaters. Some dived out of the way, but a couple weren't fast enough and their black robes caught on fire. James watched as the on-fire Death Eaters ran around screaming. They caught other Death Eaters' robes on fire and none of them had thought to use the aguamenti charm to put out the flames. Well, that ought to keep them occupied for a moment.

But now James was out in the open with no place to hide.

The few Death Eaters smart enough to not let themselves be caught on fire turned their wands on him. James cast a shield charm, but he knew it wouldn't hold up against the attack. He closed his eyes and thought of Lily.

"Ahh!" James's eyes snapped open, that cry hadn't come from him. His eyes widened as he saw what was happening. A group of about five students were rushing out of the train. Among them, James saw Frank Longbottom, Marlene McKinnon, and Alice Dupree - all from Gryffindor. Then Lenore Larkin from Ravenclaw and Thomas Brown from Hufflepuff. As soon as they stepped out, spells were flying everywhere. The hair on the right side of his head ruffled as a jinx narrowly missed him.

Standing up, James felt a surge of energy run through him. Maybe there was still hope. Everything around him snapped into perfect clarity. The students who had just joined the fight were handling themselves well, even if they were a little outmatched. He was about to go an help when Sirius and Remus caught his eye. They were surrounded by Death Eaters, each with only a shield charm up, not bothering to go on the offensive.

Charging toward his friends, James furiously cast hex after curse after jinx. There was no way in bloody hell he was going to let his friends die.

The Death Eaters were distracted by his attack, giving Sirius and Remus just enough leeway to switch from defensive to offensive. Together the three marauders were able to break the ring and incapacitate all the Death Eaters.

Turning back to the others, they saw Alice punching a female Death Eater in the eye. Frank was watching her with a look of awe on his face. Marlene, Lenore, and Thomas were busy tying up the remaining unconscious Death Eaters. Apparently they had somehow knocked them all out while the marauders were busy.

"I can't believe we did it," Remus said faintly, staring around at all the robed wizards. They weren't even wearing masks; they had been completely confident that they would be able to kill all the students with no problem.

"I can!" Sirius shouted excitedly. "Come on, Moony! Didn't you have even a little faith?"

"No, not really," Remus shrugged.

Ignoring them, James took his glasses off. Somewhere during the fight he had gotten blood smeared all over the left lens. Most likely from when the pillar exploded. His grimy shirt wasn't exactly the best thing to clean with, but it was all he had.

The others weren't looking too good either. None of them had escaped without injury. Little cuts covered everyone and he could already see bruises forming. There was a smear of blood down Sirius's arm, and a trickle coming from Lenore's nose.

"Potter! James Potter!" James thought he heard someone calling his name, and glanced up. Lily was standing in exactly the same place he had left her - she hadn't been able to move because of his shield charm - pounding her fists on the window. The hair that had been so neatly tucked back was now flying all over the place and she was paler than usual. She couldn't have looked more beautiful. He smiled weakly at her and started walking over to let her out.

"Prongs!" was all the warning he had before there were loud _pops_ and several Death Eaters appeared in front of him. Panicking slightly, James dove to the side instead of throwing up a shield charm. When he rolled up, he was standing next to Sirius.

"Still think that fight with Bellatrix is worse than this one?" James asked, a little out of breath.

"Shut up," Sirius growled.

James laughed a little before all he could focus on was staying alive. He dodged the curses he couldn't block. He blocked the curses he couldn't dodge. And he took down more than his fair share of Death Eaters. However whenever one fell, another just seemed to rise up and take their place.

Maybe this is why they weren't wearing masks, James thought wildly. They knew they had backup coming, so even if there was a struggle, the sheer numbers would be more than enough to overcome the students.

There was a brief break in the onslaught of Death Eaters and James took a moment to study his surroundings. He and Sirius had managed to get themselves backed up nearly against the wall, with Death Eaters pressing in from all sides. Remus wasn't far away, but he had his own troubles to deal with. James couldn't see the other students, and hoped they were alright.

Then, everything seemed to go in slow motion. Sirius was turned away, a little toward him. He hadn't seen a Death Eater coming up on his side, raising his wand, and a jet of deep purple shot toward Sirius. James had never seen a spell that was dark purple, but he knew it couldn't be good. And he also knew that he couldn't let that spell hit Sirius, his best friend - hell, they were practically brothers. There was only one thing he could do.

Shoving Sirius forward, James stepped directly into the spell's path. It hit with a force that knocked the air from his lungs, and he stumbled back a couple of steps. Pain exploded through his body, but it wasn't like the Cruciatus curse. No, this was more like a sword being slashed across his middle, leaving a searing line of pain behind that spread to the rest of his body, sapping his strength. Glancing down, James saw a wide gash in his shirt and blood pouring from his chest.

"Noooo!"

He was vaguely aware of someone screaming in pure anguish. He was sure it was him. He knew he was falling to his knees, hitting hard, but it seemed as if he was merely floating. There was something happening above him, mad flashes of light and the sound of things exploding. Oh great, James thought irritably. I'm missing all the fun. Oh well, he supposed Sirius would tell him all about it tomorrow morning at breakfast.

There was something he had been doing . . . Oh bugger, what was it? Something with Sirius and Remus at Hogsmede Station. Oh yes! The battle! He tried to force his legs to stand up, but his limbs were feeling strangely heavy. But that doesn't matter, his friends were in danger and he was going to help. Somehow he was able to get himself up on one knee, but he was shaking crazily. What's wrong with him? Why is this so difficult?

Then, someone was gently grabbing him, forcing him to lay on his back. Why was this idiot making him lie down when he had put so much effort into getting up? Just let him help!

"Shh, calm down James." That sounded like Sirius's voice, but that was all wrong. Sirius only ever called him by his first name either when he was making fun of his mum threatening to send him to his room or when something was really _really _wrong. And because James knew for a fact that they had both said good-bye to his mum earlier, he knew that something was wrong.

And then he was screaming, he knew it for sure this time. Something was pressing down on his chest and it was burning and aching, and Merlin, he just wanted it to _stop_.

Finally, it did. One second he was wide awake, screaming, shaking. And the next he was floating along in blackness, not a care in the world.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry or anything else recognizable. Just saying.**

**I'm so sorry about how long it took to update. I meant to get something up on Thursday, but I've had a crazy week. And I didn't think it was fair to post on Saturday (I had been up for 40 hours) and I was about to fall asleep writing on Sunday and Monday night too. So once again, lo siento! **

Lily didn't pay attention to the Sorting or to the feast for the first time in all her years at Hogwarts. She just couldn't keep her eyes away from the spot on the House table that the marauders usually claimed. The empty space for four seemed to be screaming at her. But it wasn't nearly as bad as the memories that just kept replaying, replaying, and replaying in her mind.

Yelling at James.

James kissing her. And her kissing back.

Being frozen when the battle first started.

Seeing how terrifyingly outnumbered the marauders were.

Then, pounding desperately against James's shield charm.

A couple of people jumping out from somewhere in the rear of train to join the fight.

The moment of peace that lulled everyone into a false sense of security.

James and Sirius being cornered.

James jumping in front of the curse meant for Sirius.

Sirius going absolutely mad.

Finally, the end.

The teachers arriving a little too late.

James being levitated onto a stretcher, Madam Pomfrey fluttering above him.

Being led to the Gryffindor House Table in daze.

Now that she had time to think, Lily kept going over everything she could have done differently. There was a charm she had learned just this last summer to break through shield charms. With James being distracted, it would have been easy enough to preform the counter-charm and charge into battle. That's exactly what she should have done.

A part of her wondered that if she had remembered, would she'd had the courage to fight? This was the closest she had been to the war. Sure, she'd seen the articles in The Daily Prophet and noticed how many students hadn't come back from holiday, but she had never been directly involved with Death Eaters.

Then there were James, Remus, and Sirius. They had ran into the fight without a second thought. They were the marauders! The boys she had hated ever since first year because of their arrogance and immaturity. Actually, she liked Remus. But other than him, she despised the lot of them. But wasn't the value of Godric Gryffindor bravery and loyalty? And all four of the boys were in Gryffindor. Therefore, she should've known that the boys would have faced the Death Eaters. But she hadn't thought of that.

There were a couple times during the battle that James and Sirius were arguing with each other, and she was able to catch most of it. They were quite loud, even over the noise of the battle. According to what they said, this wasn't even the first time they had faced Death Eaters, been outnumbered, and won.

Honestly, she was quite in awe of them.

Then, there had been that wonderful moment when she thought it was over. She had caught James's attention, and was demanding that he take the shield charm down. After that, she had planned on running up to him and kissing him again. But that never happened.

More and more Death Eaters popped up out of nowhere and he was snatched out of her grasp once again.

And the one memory that was torturing her more than the rest. For however long she lived, she didn't think she would ever be able to forget it. The Death Eater casting a curse at Sirius's back. James pushing Sirius out of the line of fire and taking the hit himself. Slashes as if from a vicious sword opened on his chest, blood spilling out. He looked down with a detached sort of curiosity, then fell to his knees.

Sirius screamed. He didn't yell, he _screamed_.

He turned into a maniac. He cast curses with such speed and ferocity that even she, safely trapped in the train, wanted to take a step back. The Death Eaters that were anywhere near James were torn apart. Sirius showed no mercy. He didn't actually hurt anyone - at least, not more than he was before - but the sheer power behind his spells made them a hundred times stronger. In less than a minute the rest of the Death Eaters were out of commission.

This whole time, James struggled to stand up. Once Sirius had finished taking care of the distractions, he forced James to lay down. Remus staggered over and crouched beside Sirius. They formed a kind of protective circle around him, the only thing she was able to see were James's legs.

Lily's heart had wrenched when his legs started spasming. Then suddenly, they fell limp. Her heart jumped to her throat and tears pricked her eyes. Was he dead? No, he couldn't be dead. She wouldn't believe it. James wasn't the type to give up and take the easy way out. She knew that from personal experience.

She had always known that James liked her, but she never cared. He was a bullying, arrogant toerag. He made fun of Severus and jinxed innocent people for fun. He was always showing off with that snitch and ruffling his hair up to give it that "windswept" look. Then, toward the end of sixth year - she didn't know why it happened - he started to grow up a little. He stopped hexing for fun and just ignored Severus instead of taunting him. Not that Sev mattered that much anymore. Not since he called her a Mudblood and refused to stop hanging out with this Death Eater friends in fifth year.

When James stepped into the Head Boy and Girl compartment, she had to admit, her first thought was about how cute he looked. He was still dressed in his muggle clothes (which were surprisingly alright) and he grinned as soon as he saw her. Of course, she still hated him on principle, so she had snapped some question about if he was lost. After he explained the situation, she looked at him in a whole new light. To make Head Boy, Dumbledore must have thought he was capable of taking on the responsibility.

That wasn't the James Potter she knew, but she didn't doubt Dumbledore's judgment.

Just then, the desert she had been picking at disappeared. The chatter in the Great Hall slowly died out as everyone looked up at Dumbledore. Was it just her, or did he seem a lot older and more tired than just a few months ago? Candlelight flickered off his grey beard and dark circles lay under his eyes. There were a couple moments of silence before Dumbledore finally spoke.

"Now that we have all stuffed ourselves full to bursting, I have a few important things to say. First, as I am sure all of you are aware, there was an attack made by Death Eaters on Hogsmede Station. I have no doubt that Voldemort," many people flinched,"was planning on an easy victory and thought that he would be standing in this very Hall by now. However, some of our extremely brave students put a stop to this."

Everyone in the Great Hall was deathly silent. No one wanted to miss a word that Dumbledore said - even Slytherins.

"There are a few extraordinary students I would like to acknowledge. These students jumped to the defense of the Hogwarts Express when it was attacked earlier this evening. Even though they were greatly outnumbered, these students refused to give in without a fight. And I hope you will forgive me for awarding points before the term had technically started. To Frank Longbottom, Alice Dupree, and Marlene McKinnon of Gryffindor, I give forty points each. Also, forty points to Lenore Larkin of Ravenclaw and Thomas Brown of Hufflepuff." Dumbledore paused and for a frantic moment, Lily thought that he had forgotten about James, Remus and Sirius.

"I award fifty points to Sirius Black and Remus Lupin of Gryffindor for their sheer audacity and ability. Last , but most definitely not least, I would like to award seventy points to James Potter of Gryffindor for his bravery. It takes more courage than I could imagine to be willing to face your death just so a friend could live."

"Death?" Lily cried, standing up. She couldn't help herself. Every face turned to stare at her. She knew she probably looked a mess, but she didn't care. James couldn't be dead. He just couldn't.

When Dumbledore began to speak, she was no longer the center of attention. She couldn't bring herself to sit down though. If James was dead, she could at least have the decency to not be casually laying about.

Dumbledore looked directly at her. His bright blue eyes seemed to look right through her. "Please forgive me, Miss Evans, I was not clear. James is still alive, but he will be staying in the Hospital Wing for the time being." Lily sagged with relief and sat back down. Okay, maybe she liked James more than she said. But it's not like she fancied him.

The rest of the speech passed in a blur. She vaguely heard the normal warnings: no magic in the corridors, the list of prohibited items was down in the caretaker's office, and the Forbidden Forest was, well, forbidden.

She stood when everyone else did, and when she saw the first years crowded together she snapped back to reality. Now wasn't the time to be worrying about James, she had a duty. She would go see him in the Hospital Wing later.

Striding over to the frightened looking kids, she composed herself. "Alright, first years follow me! I'm Lily Evans and I'm this year's Head Girl. Stay close and we'll be at the Common Room in no time, yeah?" She walked off, making sure they all stayed with her. Satisfied, she began showing them the way to Gryffindor Tower, giving interesting details about the castle along the way.

When she arrived in front of the Fat Lady's portrait, she had to wait for a few stragglers. Counting quickly in her head, she was positive none of the first years had gotten lost. "Okay, this is the entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room!"

She was just about to tell them how to get in when a hand shot up. "Er, yes?"

"Is that bloke who got hurt your boyfriend?"

"W-what?" she stuttered. All the kids were huddled in a group, so she had no clue who was talking. "No, of course not. Why would you ask that?"

"Ahem," a voice coughed in the background. Lily didn't pay it any attention, she was focused on the voice.

"You just seemed pretty upset."

"Well of course I was upset! I thought someone had died!"

"A_hem_."

"He didn't seem like just _someone_ when you talked to Professor Dumbledore."

"I-"

"Ahem!" Finally, Lily turned around. The Fat Lady was glaring at her, but she had a smile on her face. Lily sighed. The Fat Lady just wanted to show off to the first years.

Turning back to face the kids, Lily announced, "I'm not talking about this anymore." Sweeping her hand back in a grand gesture, she revealed the Fat Lady. "This is the Fat Lady, and also the entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room. To get into the Common Room you must know the password. When the password is changed it will be posted on the message board. At the moment the password is 'patronus.'" Smiling widely, the Fat Lady's portrait swung open.

There were gasps from the first years as they all climbed in. Lily didn't follow. Letting the portrait fall closed, she walked off down the hallway. "Oi! Where are you going, missy?" the Fat Lady called after her. Lily ignored her, she didn't want to have to explain why she was going to the Hospital Wing. "Well, wherever it is, don't take too long! I'm not going to be here all night!"

Lily hurried down the halls, taking shortcuts when she could. She almost ran into Peeves once, but she ducked around a corner just in time. Why was this so important to her? She and James had never really gotten on. Was it just because he was hurt? Or was it because he seemed to finally be growing up? Or - dare she think it - was it because of his kiss?

After ages, she was standing in front of the Hospital Wing door, nervously smoothing her hair down. Lily took a deep breath, reached out, and pushed open the door. Taking a step in, she froze. The marauders were crowded around a bed near the door and they all turned to look at her when they heard the door open. Merlin, she was an idiot! Of course James wouldn't be alone. Hadn't she been tortured by the _four _empty seats at the feast?

"What're you doing here?" Sirius demanded.

Lily took a step back in shock. What _was_ she doing here? She had no right.

"S-sorry," she stuttered. "I just wanted to see if James was alright. So, I'll just go now."

"Wait!" Remus called.

She didn't listen. Her face was burning and she didn't have the guts to face down Sirius right now. Not bothering to shut the door, she hurried down the corridor. She didn't get far when a hand grabbed her upper arm. She flinched, but let herself be turned around.

"I'm sorry Lily. It's just... Sirius is upset - all of us are - but he's the worst off. Even so, please come back? Honestly, I think it'll help." Lily felt her resistance crumbling with his pleading voice and puppy dog eyes. "And I think James would like it if he knew you were waiting by his bedside to wake up."

They both cracked a smile at that. "I know he would," she murmured. Rubbing tired eyes, Lily sighed. "I'll stay for a few minutes."

"Brilliant."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own Harry Potter.**

**I feel so bad... It's taken me like 2 weeks to update and it isn't even extremely long or anything. :( I've had so much to do lately and let's be honest, this isn't my first priority. I have a research paper due next Friday and an AP Euro exam next Wednesday, so I wouldn't really expect anything before then. Sorry!**

Lily followed Remus back into the Hospital Wing. His shoulders were hunched and his neck looked tense, and Lily didn't think that she'd ever seen him like this. Sure, he was always pretty beat up after a full moon, but this was different. After his transformations he looked tired and a little worse for wear but now it was like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. The marauders didn't know that she was clued into Remus's secret, at least as far as she knew. It really was quite easy to figure out, if you were paying attention. But that wasn't what was important at the moment.

Remus nudged open the door, appearing around the corner before her. "Moony-" Sirius's voice cut off as soon as she stepped into view. He glared at her, and Lily had a sudden flash of Sirius's reaction to James being injured in the battle. He opened his mouth angrily, but Remus interrupted him.

"Padfoot, stop." Sirius snapped his narrowed eyes to his friend. Remus didn't flinch like Lily did. "She's just as worried about James as you are."

"You honestly believe that?" Sirius demanded. "She loathes James! She loathes all of us!"

"Then why is she here?" There was a hardness in Remus's voice that she had never heard before. Suddenly a part of her wanted to leave. She didn't want to get in the middle of a quarrel, especially when James wasn't even conscious.

Just as she was about to walk away, Sirius sighed. "Fine."

She was glad the initial head butting was over, even if Sirius was still sending her searing looks. Tucking her hair behind her ear, Lily slowly approached the hospital bed. Her heart started pounding as she saw James clearly for the first time. He was much paler than usual, his black hair messily falling across his forehead - not fluffed up like James usually did. There were purple circles under his eyes like bruises. But worst of all was his chest. He was shirtless, but Lily didn't care like she normally would. Stark white bandages thickly crisscrossed his chest.

Lily gulped and wanted to turn away, but she couldn't. It was like a train wreck - horrible and scary and shocking, but for whatever reason, you just have to keep looking.

"Is . . . is he going to be okay?" Lily asked quietly.

Peter gazed up at her with watery eyes, then he stared at Remus. Apparently she wasn't the only one who wasn't completely convinced that James was going to be back to his normal obnoxious self in no time.

Remus rubbed his hands across his grey face. He looked older than his seventeen years, the worry lines adding years to his appearance. "Madam Pomfrey said that it might take some time, but he would eventually recover. She didn't really give us any specifics though. A little busy taking care of all of us, I suppose."

"You suppose correctly, Mr. Lupin." Lily jumped. Madam Pomfrey had walked up, and she hadn't even noticed. If nothing else made her wonder why she was so out of it, that would. Lily had always prided herself on being observant and never being surprised. "And to continue taking care of you lot, you're going to have to leave. It's going to do none of you any good to be sitting in here when you should be resting."

Madam Pomfrey made a shooing motion with her hands and continued, "Go on, budge up. I'm not going to -"

"Why hasn't he woken up yet?" Sirius interrupted. His grey eyes looked almost black, and he had a sort of pleading look on his face. Like a little boy who just wanted his parents to tel him that everything was going to be okay.

Sighing, Madam Pomfrey slowly lowered her hands. "I've fixed him up as best as I could," she started. "But due to his extensive injuries, it's hard to say."

There was nothing Madam Pomfrey couldn't heal. If an injury seemed serious to an average witch or wizard, it was like a splinter in her book. So for her to consider James's injuries to be extensive . . .

"Extensive?" Lily's voice was embarrassingly shrill. "How extensive?"

Peter and Remus were looking at Madam Pomfrey with wide eyes. They must have heard this all before, surely. Sirius wasn't looking at Madam Pomfrey with the others, he was staring straight at Lily. Lily fidgeted a little with her robes. His unblinking gaze was quite unnatural; it was giving her the creeps.

"Well, I'll have you know that it all sounds right worse than it is." Madam Pomfrey paused. "There were a number of bruises forming all over his body, but I've healed them up already. Most of his cuts were just small scrapes and should heal up nicely. Mr. Potter has a concussion, which I can unfortunately do next to nothing about. The brain is a tricky thing and there is always the possibility that something will go wrong, and I didn't want to take that chance."

Peter flinched every time Madam Pomfrey listed a new injury. Remus was stony-faced, but his eyes grew progressively tight. And still Sirius was staring at her. His unnerving gaze stayed locked on her face and he seemed to not even care about what Madam Pomfrey was saying about his injured best friend.

Madam Pomfrey tittered a bit, looking hesitant. "The most concerning injuries, of course, are the lacerations on his chest. He lost a lot of blood and the gashes are quite deep. Because of the Dark nature of the curse, it is nearly impossible for me to completely heal them. Even if we knew the exact curse used and it's countercurse, it is extremely difficult. I've done the best I can, but I fear that I can only keep him stable and hope for the best."

Lily's stomach twisted into a knot. Lurching forward, she grabbed the back of a chair and promptly collapsed into it. Her throat and eyes were burning, her nose stinging uncomfortably. Taking deep breaths, she tried to ignore the sympathetic look Madam Pomfrey was giving her.

"Madam Pomfrey," Sirius finally turned his gaze away from her, "do you think something could be making him stay unconscious longer? With all the other times he's been in here and passed out, he's never been out for this long."

That made Lily wonder exactly how many times James and Sirius had landed themselves in the Hospital Wing. She knew that James was often here because of Quidditch, but Sirius made it sound like they were here on a regular basis.

Giving Sirius a hard look, Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips. "It's possible. Is there something you would like to tell me, Mr. Black?"

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, then looked up and locked eyes with her. "James was hit by the Cruciatus Curse."

Madam Pomfrey's face went white. Lily was quite sure that she looked like a fish with her mouth hanging open, opening and closing but no words were coming out. Remus went completely still, not even moving a muscle.

"What?" Peter's cry startled everyone. Lily had almost forgotten he was there, she was so caught up in the drama. Plus, Peter was usually the quiet one, preferring to just follow James, Sirius, and Remus around.

"I'm not positive, but I should think that it would only have a small effect on his physical recovery. That kind of curse affects the mind more than the body. However, it is possible that Mr. Potter will remain unconscious longer than usual because his body it taking the time it needs to rest and recuperate." Madam Pomfrey's voice got a lot quieter now, as if she were thinking aloud. "Cruciatus Curse, my word. I must inform the Headmaster as soon as possible."

Clapping her hands together, Madam Pomfrey briskly said, "Now, before you go -"

All of the four started protesting. Surprisingly, it was Lily's voice whose was the loudest.

"Madam Pomfrey, please! I just want to know that he'll be alright! Just let me stay for a few more minutes!"

The nurse gave her a knowing, sympathetic look. Sympathetic she could understand, but why was she giving her that knowing look? Like she knew something Lily didn't. Or maybe she thought Lily did know. Either way, it wasn't important, Lily just wanted her to stop.

Feeling a burn start in her cheeks, Lily stuttered, "Because, I mean, I need to know when he'll be able to start his Head Boy duties." All eyes were on her. Awkwardly, she cleared her throat. "Besides, Sirius, Remus, and Peter aren't going to go to bed and you know that."

Ignoring the boys' eyes on her, Lily watched Madam Pomfrey. The woman's lips tightened, like she was concentrating on something very hard. Finally, after what seemed like hours, she sighed. "I suppose a couple more minutes wouldn't hurt. But that's all. No more! And you must promise to go without a fuss when I say, alright?"

Lily smiled brightly. "Oh yes, Madam Pomfrey! We promise!"

Madam Pomfrey only threatened, "No fuss," and returned to her office.

Tucking her hair behind her ear nervously - it was a terrible habit - Lily leaned forward in her seat and grabbed James's hand. It wasn't cool like she expected, it was actually quite warm. "He's going to wake up," she said firmly, not sure if she was saying it to herself or to the marauders.

"You're right about that. Mischief not quite manged," Remus said. Peter gave a watery chuckle, and Sirius smiled tightly. What? What was she missing?

Letting it go, Lily decided to ignore them. It might have been a little mean, but at the moment she didn't care. It was surprising that Madam Pomfrey allowed them extra time, and Lily was going to make the most of it. Squeezing James's hand lightly, she scooted her chair closer to his bed. He looked so strange without his glasses and his carefully styled hair. Lily had never realized just how much she liked them until they were gone. James just wasn't James without them.

Reaching over with her free hand, Lily ruffled up his bangs just a bit. It wasn't even close to how it normally looked, but it was better.

Lily didn't know how long she was sitting there, rubbing patterns on James's hand, hoping to Merlin that he would wake up. But soon enough, Madam Pomfrey was strolling down the room toward them with a determined look on her face. Gently, Lily set James's hand down on the mattress and stood up. Her groaned painfully as she stood up, her knees popping.

"We'll go now," Lily told the woman as she approached them.

"Yes dear, thank you. But not before I check these two over." She was staring straight at Sirius and Remus.

Sirius got a stubborn look on his face. "I'm fine."

Remus rolled his eyes, but seemed resigned to watch the argument that was about to ensue.

"Are you a mediwizard? No? Then you'll listen to what I say." Madam Pomfrey had a don't-even-think-about-crossing-me look on her face. Lily was taken aback, Madam Pomfrey was almost never this cross. But with Sirius Black, Lily supposed it was possible - even likely.

"They do this all the time," Remus whispered to her out of the side of his mouth. "A sort of battle of the wills, but Madam Pomfrey always wins. Watch, Sirius is going to break in five, four, three, two . . ."

Remus let the last number hang in the air and Lily watched in astonishment as Sirius's face softened just slightly.

"How do you do that? Does it really happen that often? How many times have you lot been in here?" Lily couldn't get the questions out of her mouth fast enough. But she was sure to keep her voice to a whisper. It was such a strange sight to see Sirius Black, the _marauder_, behaving - albeit reluctantly - for anyone and she didn't want to interrupt.

"It happens every time we're in here. Which is a lot. I lost count at seventy-two in third year."

"Seventy-two? In third year? What in the world do you four get into?"

"It's a secret." Remus smiled mischievously at her. "You'd think by now that we'd learn to heal ourselves, but we're all rubbish at healing. Especially Sirius." Remus shuddered, as if remembering a particular event.

"Mr. Lupin! Your turn!"

Remus walked over to Madam Pomfrey, who inspected him with a critical eye. Sirius and Peter were standing a couple meters away, leaving Lily awkwardly by James's bad.

Finally, Madam Pomfrey pronounced Remus in good health. He walked right past Sirius, only stopping to clap him on the shoulder before coming over to Lily. "Shall we?" he asked politely, gesturing to the door.

Smiling, Lily replied, "Yeah, thanks."

However, she lingered for a moment. Sirius and Peter were already out the door, but Remus was waiting for her. Glancing once more at James's pale face, she forced herself to turn away. She felt like she was abandoning him, leaving him all alone in the empty Hospital Wing. She knew Madam Pomfrey would be there, but she was most likely going to be in her office, not sitting by James's bedside in case he woke up. What if he woke up, alone and in the dark?

She was tempted to stay. Maybe if she begged long enough, Madam Pomfrey would let her stay. Throw in a couple tears that Lily knew weren't too far away and she would be golden.

But then hands were on her shoulders, guiding her out of the room. Remus gently turned her around, forcing James out of her eyesight.

At the last second, just before Remus closed the door, Lily looked back.

Madam Pomfrey was standing beside James, smiling down sadly at him. Leaning down to place a motherly kiss on his forehead, Lily knew James was in good hands. She didn't need to worry.

The lock on the door clicked, but not before a couple words floated to Lily's ears. "You brave, stupid boy."

And Lily couldn't agree more.


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm really sorry guys! It's been forever since I uploaded! Well, more or less. I know it's not extremely long or anything, but I do think it's a bit longer than usual. School's out in a week so hopefully I'll be able to write more after then. So, I hope you enjoy Sirius's thoughts! Sorry if I American-ized anything.****  
**

**Disclaimer: I never have - and never will - own Harry Potter.**

Sirius growled in the back of his throat. He could feel his animagus form itching to burst out. He wanted to run wild in the Forbidden Forest, howling at the sky every so often. Maybe get in a fight or two. He couldn't stand just sitting around, doing nothing.

"Padfoot, would you _stop_? I'm trying to concentrate here." Sirius glared at Remus, who barely glanced up from his parchment. Even though it had only been barely over a week since he had been in a major fight against a hoard of Death Eaters and his best friend was laying in the Hospital Wing, barely able to do anything for himself, the professors had shown no mercy.

McGonagall had assigned them a foot and a half essay on the theory and inner workings of human transformation, which should have been a piece of cake - considering that he was an animagus - but Transfiguration was James's area of expertise, not his. Slughorn had spent the entire lesson fawning over Evans once again, and left them to prepare themselves for tomorrow's lesson, which was brewing the complex potion Felix Felices. And on top of that, he needed to practice conjuring spells for Charms. Normally, that wouldn't be too horrible, but they were supposed to conjure _huge_ items, not just a cup here or there.

Slamming his Transfiguration textbook closed, Sirius stood up. "I'm going for a walk." Ignoring Remus's surprised and Peter's frightened looks, he marched toward the portrait. A couple first years stumbled out of his way, looking like they might piss themselves. With a dark chuckle, Sirius almost hoped they did.

Practically punching the portrait open, he agilely jumped out into the corridor. "Oi! I don't know who you think you are, but -"

Sirius whirled around to face the Fat Lady. When she saw who it was, she immediately dropped her angry face and smiled sweetly at him. "Oh, I didn't realize it was you," she paused, batting her eyelashes at him, "Sirius Black." Sirius glared at her and started to walk away. "Wait! I just had my hair done by that witch on the seventh floor, wouldn't you like to see it? Or perhaps I could sing you a new song I just learned, it's quite lovely!"

Ignoring her, Sirius stormed down the deserted corridor. It wasn't past curfew, but most students were probably starting on their mounds of homework.

He couldn't wait. Glancing around quickly, he deemed that no one was nearby. Taking a deep breath, he willed himself to transform, letting his animagus take over. He could feel his bones bending, cracking, growing, shrinking. The first time he had successfully transformed it was quite painful, but now the transformation seemed almost natural. The only thing he still wasn't used to was the tail.

Stretching a little, he shook out his quivering muscles. Feeling his heart pounding in anticipation, he sprinted down the corridor. Paws slipping slightly on the marble floor, he almost wiped out turning a corner, but was able to find purchase. He ran as fast as he possible could down the next corridor, and the next and the next. When he reached the stairs he didn't waste any time, simply leaping over the whole set.

Padfoot reached the steps to the Great Hall in no time. He only saw the Grey Lady, but she didn't pay him any attention. Skidding to a stop, Padfoot panted slightly. His tail wagged without thinking about it, happy to finally release some of his anger.

Hiding himself in the shadows, he looked around for Filch or his bloody cat. For some reason, Filch was always around at the most inopportune moments. Sirius was sure that he planned it somehow, but then again that would require Filch being smart enough to actually figure out their plans.

Settling himself back on his haunches, Padfoot restrained himself for a few moments. It wasn't usually like him to wait, but he had had an unfortunate run-in with Mrs. Norris's claws a few weeks back, and he wasn't eager to repeat it. When he had the upper hand, that was when he would strike back. To Sirius revenge was usually best served piping hot, but with that bloody cat he had to play it cool. This wasn't just payback for a prank, this was war.

Satisfied that the coast was clear, Padfoot sprinted down the stairs, across the foyer, and straight to the huge wooden doors. Pushing himself up on two legs, Padfoot knocked into the handle with a practiced paw. The door clicked open and he rushed outside. A couple laps around the Quidditch pitch should do him some good. Maybe clear his head a little.

Then, something slammed into his back. Using the momentum to roll over onto his back, the thing let go. Snarling, Padfoot could feel his hackles rising. A few meters away, narrowed yellow eyes stared at him, daring him to move. Growling deep in his throat, Padfoot reacted on instinct. Darting forward at the same time as Mrs. Norris, they collided in the middle, a snarling mess. Only a moment or two later, that bloody prick of a cat was snatched away, still hissing. Filch was clutching her to his skinny chest, glaring at Padfoot.

"Get! Get, you mangy mutt! If you hurt my sweet Mrs. Norris, you'll pay, you will. You can count on that!"

Sensing the fight was over, Padfoot glared at the pair one last time. Then, turning quickly, he high-tailed it out of there. Running full speed, he quickly arrived at the Quidditch pitch and took off. The wind blowing in his eyes made his eyes water a little, but he blinked through it. His sore muscles stretched in a painfully wonderful way. He was panting slightly, but he kept going. He ran until he couldn't anymore. And then he collapsed. Laying in the grass, Padfoot transformed back into his human form. His chest was heaving, and his robes were soaked with sweat. The cool autumn air breezed over his face as he greedily gulped air.

Balling his hands up, Sirius pressed his fists into his eyes. Little swirls in all different colors exploded in the darkness and dots danced around the black. Pressing harder, he tried to calm himself down. A sob hitched in his chest. Rubbing his eyes even harder, he ignored the tears seeping out of the corners of his eyes.

Suddenly, he pushed himself upright. Absolutely refusing to pathetically sob like a prick, Sirius punched his fists into the soft grass and forced himself up. Groaning slightly at his sore muscles, he shook his head viciously. Lacing his fingers behind his head, he took a slow deep breath to try to calm his still stuttering breaths.

Somewhere behind him, a twig snapped. Whirling around, Sirius scanned the shadows. It was still fairly early, but with the changing seasons the days were getting shorter. Dark shapes blended in with those around them, making it almost impossible to see anything, but Sirius was good at this sort of thing.

Still searching with his eyes, Sirius demanded, "Whose there?" He was quite proud of how steady his voice was, especially considering that he was just having a mental breakdown a moment ago. "I know you're there! Show yourself!"

When nothing moved for two whole minutes, Sirius decided that maybe he was wrong. After all, he wasn't exactly at the top of his game. A moment longer, and he gave up. He scrubbed his hands down his face, he stated clearly to the air, "Dear Merlin, I think I'm going mental." Then without saying anything else, he turned and left the pitch.

The sun was setting over the Forbidden Forest, shining directly into Sirius's eyes. Squinting, he pushed his trembling muscles on. Between his sprinting, his brief fight with Mrs. Norris, and everything that had happened since the battle last week, he was exhausted. What he really needed was a Pepper Up Potion from Madam Pomfrey. Plus, when he was in the Hospital Wing, he could see James.

Walking slowly, he started the trek back to the castle. Keeping his head down, he ignored the white smoke billowing from Hagrid's chimney. Even though Hagrid was his mate, Sirius simply didn't have the energy.

Even though he was concentrating on just putting one foot in front of the other, he couldn't completely ignore the blossoming headache in his temples. Bloody hell, why was all his happening now, all at once? Since the end of last term, the only good thing that had happened to him was moving out of his parents' house and into the Potter's mansion. In fact, that summer had been the best of his life.

But all that was over now.

By the end of this school year he was never going to come back to Hogwarts. He had to decide what he was going to do with his life. Maybe he would become an Auror. Maybe he would try to convince James to start an organization to fight Voldemort, there didn't seem to be any around now. Either way, he was going to see action. It was in his blood.

Pushing open the castle's heavy wooden doors, Sirius ignored the glowing yellow eyes glaring at him from behind a suit of armor. Even when he was in human form, it seemed that Mrs. Norris could tell he was Padfoot as well. He growled, blinked, and she was gone. Oh well, it didn't matter. For once, he wasn't even doing anything wrong. She could go get Filch if she wanted.

Sirius grabbed onto the banister on the stairs and pulled himself up the steps one by one. Blimey, maybe he was worse off than he thought. Shaking his head to try to wake himself up, he was forced to bite back a groan. His headache spiked, and all the torches suddenly seemed much brighter.

Taking a deep breath, Sirius pushed on. The steps all seemed to meld together. It was either seconds or centuries by the time Sirius arrived at the Hospital Wing. As he pushed open the door he tried to settle a smile on his face, for James's sake. It probably looked rather more like a grimace than a smile.

"Padfoot!" James called out cheerfully.

A spike of pain shot through Sirius's head, but he attempted to ignore it. "Hey Prongs," he said quietly.

James didn't seem to notice that Sirius wasn't his normal loud and obnoxious self. "It's about time you came and saw me! I've been laid up here for almost an entire day! Do you know how boring it's been? Honestly, I wouldn't mind going to class. Even History of Magic seems lovely right now. I keep asking if I can leave, but Madam Pomfrey seems certain that I need to stay in here for a while longer. Can you believe that? It's just a scratch, honestly!"

"Blimey mate," Sirius groaned, "do you ever shut up?"

"No, not really." James smiled brightly at Sirius, but after a moment it faded. "You look like hell, Paddy."

"Thanks," Sirius snorted. "That's what I love to hear."

James pushed himself up in his bed, his arms trembling slightly. Even though James claimed he was in perfect health, it was obvious that he was still in quite a bit of pain. "I'm serious Padfoot. Maybe you should lie down or something. When was the last time you got some proper sleep?"

"Oh stop being a mother hen Prongs. I'm fine. You're the one lying in the Hospital Wing."

"Maybe I'm not the only one who needs to be here." James stared at Sirius as if he could make Sirius better just by sheer willpower.

Sirius felt his temper boiling. He knew James was only concerned, but he wasn't a child. He didn't need to be looked after. "I'm fine," he said shortly.

"Look Sirius, I know you don't like to look weak, but it's just stupid to hide if something's wrong. You don't have to sacrifice-"

"Sacrifice? Sacrifice!" Sirius interrupted. He had finally snapped. "Don't you dare lecture me about sacrifice, James Potter! You think it's stupid of me to sacrifice anything, but then you go and almost die trying to save me! And it's not the first time you played the hero-sacrifice card either! How do you think it felt when I saw you covered in blood at my feet? Or when I felt your blood gushing under my hands, hoping that you wouldn't die? I was scared, James! _Terrified_!"

"I- I..." James was at a loss for words. Sirius didn't care, it was about time he let his anger out. He bulldozed on, blood pumping furiously through his veins.

"And here you are, acting like nothing at all is wrong! Cheerfully chatting away about how _bored_ you are! Well I'm damn happy you're bored! At least I don't have to worry about you getting yourself killed! What if you actually had died? I would have had to tell your parents that they lost their only son because of me! I honestly don't know if I would have even been able to bring myself to do it! You're my best mate, James, and I don't want you to die! Maybe next time you should just worry about saving your own skin and let me worry about mine!"

Sirius stood with fists balled against his side. His chest was heaving from a combination of anger and breathlessness, the shouting had taken a toll on his already erratic breaths. His head felt like it was about to explode.

James was staring at him, wide eyed. His mouth was hanging open slightly.

"What is going on out here?" Madam Pomfrey's voice demanded shrilly.

Sirius snapped his head to look at her, but the sudden movement shot pain through his temples. Before he could even glimpse Madam Pomfrey's weathered face, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and black encompassed his vision.


End file.
